So today I worked in the office - I love working in the office - the people and actually doing something. Carrie reminded me that it was only temporary that I am working in the office and I got sad - I will be going back to working one on one with her...I feel bad becasue she is my boss for the summer but honestly I really don't get along with her at all...I mean perfectly nice and friendly to her but she makes me feel like an idiot and always feels this need to pout me into my place or remind me that she knew all these people before her...I am trying my best - I pray about it and I guess I am just going to have to talk with her about it. I am so scared of coflict lately - I know conflict is healthy and all but man its hard to deal with. Other than that I am feeling great - excited to spend time with God - I crave journaling Him now. I hate to get all wierd but guys you might not want to read - its about girl stuff. I guess I am realizing how much hormones change from week to week in me and how they affect me. Right now I am in the "I'm dead sexy - happy to be single - love life" time of the month - next is the "I just want to cuddle -and have boyfriend" time of the month then is the "This virgin thing sucks" time of the month - followed by " I hate everyone and I want to be alone and no one understands me time of the month. Followed by the if you show me a sappy movie or a halmark commerical I will totally weep" time of the month. How is it possible to change so much in a month - sometimes I wonder if I am normal or not and then I realize most girls do this week after week month after month and year after year - why would anyone want to marry into this kind of emotional/hormonal instability? Ok that was my random thought for the day. kinda long but random none the less. Ohhh I bake last night - I must say I did good. I baked peanut butter kisses cookies - how I got a New Zealand man by Corey Huckaby - no just joking...its for small group. My mom already told me that I was't allowed to fall in love with a NZer becasue it was too far away- thats not why I am here anyway (its the I'm dead sexy - happy to be single - love life time right now) I realized that a guy will have to totally pursue me because my minddoesn't think teh other way - it shuts down. Sometimes I honestly wonder if I know him or not? If he is a friend - one time honestly I met someone and I it just clicked for me - he was totally not what I expected or even pictured and my heart was like thud thud thud - He is the one that I see myself with - the one if I dream about my wedding or future being married its to him - not really all that healthy but...its what I do...Funy because even when like this year I had a crush on a guy - it was the other guy I knew was for. This is getting wierd even for me - but its good to be honest with myself - I wonder if he has ever felt the same way or if heart went thud thud thud - if he dreams of me? Hummmm...well this was a true entry of a scatterbrain - welcome to the party that goes on 24/7.