So today was interesting...ever been in a bad mood that you can't shake off...thats me. I am trying to be happy...but it seems so fake...but yet I can be happy...its wierd. I quess I am am just so ready not to be here...my semester has kinda sucked hugely in a lot of ways...I mean the whole friend getting mad and and no longer being my friend thing sucked royally. Then another friend gets lost in a boyfriend wait fiancee...then another to well...I am not sure what happened with this one but I think it was both sides to blame. I guess my body and spirit are finally getting fed up with everything that has happened. I am tired of being sensitive. I guess there is a lot involved...my family is having some major problems...my brother is in a lot of trouble with the law right now...and I don't know how innocent he is...that is weighing on me heavily. I guess I just need a hot bath, a good book, and a good friend to just hold my hand when I finally allow myself to let it all out. I also worry that I will never be able to do ministry...how I who is always so broken and searching ever led others. I know that God is quietly holding and carring me through this storm. I know he is here and will remain by my side until the day comes that I will be with him forever. I will not grow weary...I have to keep remembering that.