So the past few days have been way tough here. God tends to like to break me when I least expect it and it always is earth shattering. Where to start. So on Thursday I show up for my meeting at Carrie's right and Sean is there. I was told it was going to be a plannig time and reviewing personal goals time - well no it was at all it was a full on lets have a "talk" time. I was told that if they wern't insterested in seeing me grow they would have sent me home about a week ago. That I have made some big relational mistakes and that my attitide sucked and that I had a pride issue. So yeah uhmm that hurt just a little - I took all of it well. I was hurt but I guess they have the right to say these things as my leaders. I have to trust that God is leading them and these are real issues. I was also told that a mature Christian woman told Carrie that I need to watch myself around guys - that I was a flirt. What is more is that I made Sean uncomfortable - which was totally innocent believe me - I was just being myself and relaxed. So that was hard for me to hear especially when Carrie told me that it was biblical for me to be corrected - I had to remind Carrie that the Bible does not say 4 people talk about it then tell Corey - 2 weeks later. It says so straight to her - that is what I was mad about well hurt is a better word. I never will get a chance to tell who ever thought that anything - instead they think I am a flirt. I guess I am feeling extremly broken and pulled apart - like nothing I do is right. Which I know is Satan swooping down and preying on me when I am weak. I feel better with Carrie - we understand each other better. I feel so uncomfortable around Sean - like I can't be myself. I know that he knows that I know he thought I was flirting with him - which I totally wasn't - it just sucks becasue he is definatly one of my leaders for the summer. Like I said I am glad all of this has happened because it will make things better it just totally blows at this moment. I am just in need of a lot of encouragement and affrimation from them but I don't know how to tell them to go easy on teh corrections for a few days. I have been totally torn down and now I don't know what to do or who to be...